When I was growing up,
and before I became a Christian, I loved to listen to a certain rock group from
the other side of the Atlantic, named after some kind of insect. Or was it a
car? One of their songs claimed, “All
You Need Is Love.” What about that? Is
love really all you need? And if that is true, what is love?
Prison guards who work
on death row share an odd, inside joke.
Death-row inmates have an easier time getting dates than do the
guards. Now why would that be? Sociologists and psychologists have verified
the fact that death-row inmates, even those convicted of the most gruesome
crimes, often receive bags of mail from sympathetic women. Some of our nation’s most notorious serial
killers, like Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy, received dozens of marriage
proposals while in prison. According to
Sheila Isenberg, author of “Women Who Love Men Who Kill,” women sometimes
pursue relationships with death-row inmates because these relationships are
“low maintenance, highly dramatic and easy to control.” —“Jailbirds make
attractive lovebirds to some” by Amy Green Knoxville News-Sentinel, May 21,
2000, B1 and B3. In other words,
they seek an easy kind of love for the simple reason that one of the hardest
places to live that Scripture admonition to “love one
another” is in our homes.
Right now, think of the
people in your family who are hard to love at times. Maybe, in your opinion, all the time. A spouse, a parent, a child, a brother or a sister? Maybe even--
yourself?
The greatest passages of
Scripture ever written about love were written by individuals, think of it, who
were once extremely hard to love.
Remember the story of Paul, the author of First Corinthians 13, and the
hard-heartedness that characterized his early life as a persecutor? Talk about someone who was hard to
love. And the other one, called “the
Son of Thunder” came to be known as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” Who was
that? That’s right, John.
Five times John speaks
of himself as “the disciple Jesus loved”
If you have something to write with and you want to write something in
the bulletin, on the back or some piece of paper you have, write these references
down. These are the times that John
refers to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved, and the first chapter is,
of course, Gospel of John. They’re all
in the Gospel of John. The first one is
chapter 13, verse 23. And then also,
chapter 19, verse 26. And then, chapter
20, verse 2. And then 2 times in
chapter 21. In verse 7, and then in
verse 20. In fact, the encounter of
Jesus with John is really a classic study in how God’s love can make a
difference.
Let’s look at some
“before” and “after” snapshots of John.
The image that some
painters have used to portray John is a shy, gentle young man. It’s even common
to think that Jesus loved John because he was so meek and kind and good. This particular picture comes from either
the late 15 hundreds or the early 16 hundreds.
But in fact, the overall portrait of John in the Gospels is quite
different. John was a rough, coarse,
high spirited young man. His untamed
spirit and violent temper is why he got the nickname “Son of Thunder” or we
might say “Thunderman” That’s in Mark
3. Mark 3, verse 17.
You see, John possessed
a spirit of criticism. He was racially
and religiously prejudiced, and jealous for his own group. That’s like no one here, right? No one here is like that. John was hot-tempered and easily angered,
and he was not by nature humble and yielding.
You remember that it was John who was angry and indignant and ready to
fight when the Samaritans were inhospitable to the Master. In revenge, he wanted to call down fire upon
them to destroy them. That story is in
Luke, chapter 9.
And he craved power and
authority and he craftily plotted to be the chief among the disciples. He even attempted to manipulate Jesus to
grant him the highest position in His kingdom by having his own mother request
it. Imagine that! What a sly one.
John was evil-tempered,
critical, proud, violent of spirit, combative, and indignant. Not a pretty
sight. And despite all that, he was the
disciple whom Jesus loved. Does that
give you hope?
That was the “before”
snapshot. Let’s look at the “after”. His writings give us a glimpse into his
changed attitude.
I invite you to open
your Bibles to the epistle of John, First John, and we’ll look at chapter 3 and
chapter 4. I’ll be reading from the
English Standard Version. First John,
chapter 3, verse 18. “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed
and in truth.” Does that sound like the John who wanted to call down
fire upon the Samaritans? It
doesn’t. And then go to the next
chapter and look at verses 7 and 8.
First John 4, verses 7 and 8. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and
whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” Does that sound like a Thunderman? What kind
of love would make a difference like that? What did Jesus do?
Well even when John was
unlovable, Jesus provided John with that for which his heart craved. Redemptive love. Love that has compassion for the brokenness that people feel inside. Love that accepts people with no strings
attached. Love that comes as a
gift. Love that forgives freely, and
willingly. Isn’t that all we crave as
well? That’s what we want.
And those verses about
John being the one that Jesus loved were written late in John’s life when he
reflected on the over-and-over-again quality of Christ’s love for him even when
he knew he didn’t deserve it. The sense
of the Greek verb for love in these verses is “kept on loving.” Isn’t that what we call “unconditional”
love? And John experienced that and he
also observed how Jesus related to others every day.
Let’s think of some of
the examples of Jesus’ love toward others that John would have been there. He watched it all. He saw it. He observed
it. He experienced it.
There’s the story of the
madman in Mark, chapter 5. Despite the
hopelessness of his case, Jesus did not turn away, but ministered to his
needs. He clothed him. He demonstrated confidence in him. He entrusted him with a mission to tell what
God had done for him.
And remember the story
of the paralytic in Luke, chapter 5?
Jesus assured him of forgiveness, called him “friend,” and met his
physical needs by healing him.
There’s also the story
of the Samaritan woman. It was evident
to her that Jesus knew all about her and yet He showed care and compassion for
her. He very sensitively and skillfully
and yet humbly started a conversation with her, indicating acceptance of her, as
a person, as a human being. He was
unmindful of His own reputation in associating with her, but as He talked with
her He elevated her status as a human being.
She was argumentative, but He reasoned carefully and calmly and
patiently with her. And when He spoke of her sinful lifestyle, she didn’t feel
condemned.
And you remember
Zacchaeus. Jesus called him by name. He
gave him eye contact. He spoke directly to him. “Zacchaeus, come down, for I must eat
with you today.” So Jesus
fellowshipped with him over a meal, a significant demonstration of
friendship. And furthermore, He allowed
Zacchaeus to work out his own solution to his problem, the problem of his
ethical lapses. And then Jesus assured
him, a despised tax collector, a place in the spiritual family as a son of
Abraham.
And in the case of John
the disciple, Jesus invited him into the inner circle of friendship with
Him. He opened Himself to John,
granting special insights and revelations about Himself, such as that on the
Mount of Transfiguration. And He said
to John and all the other disciples, “I don’t call you
servants, for the servant doesn’t know what his master is doing; but I have
called you friends, for I have shared with you everything that I’ve heard from my Father.”
And then in Gethsemane,
the Savior asked for John’s support and encouragement. And as Jesus hung on the cross, He entrusted
John with the honor of caring for His mother.
These were powerful
portrayals of Christ’s love for him that touched his heart. At the cross, as John sees the greatest
picture of Love dying as the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world,
even his own sins, it changes him.
There on the cross hangs John’s untamed spirit, his hasty temper, his
prejudice, his thirst for revenge. The
Son of God was made to be sin for John, made to be the Son of Thunder, unlovely
and unlovable, that in Jesus, John and all of us, might be made righteous,
might be made loving and loveable. From
that cross flows redemptive, transforming love, that provides for the deepest
needs of John’s soul. And ours.
So what difference can
God’s love make right here, right now, for you and me?
I’d like to invite you
to open your Bibles again to First Corinthians, chapter 13. And I’d like for us to read verses 4 through
7, and I’m going to read from the translation that’s called “God’s Word.”
First Corinthians 13,
looking at verses 4 through 7. “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It
doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant. It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable.
It doesn’t keep track of wrongs. It
isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. Love never stops being patient, never stops
believing, never stops hoping, never gives up.” And this is how God treats us. And it’s how
God wants us to treat others. So do you know someone who needs this kind of love? Unconditional love. Maybe it’s a rebellious
child. Maybe it’s a hurting neighbor or stressed-out co-worker. A demanding boss
or struggling, single parent.
How about trying this.
Ask them this simple
question. “How can I pray for you
today?” And then pray for them and with
them if appropriate. And here’s an idea
for those who are married. Since today is February 14, share this gift with
your spouse. Each of you take a piece
of paper and list seven simple, loving actions that make you feel loved by your
spouse. Now, it’s important that you
make sure that they are not expensive and certainly that they don’t cause any
conflict. That would be defeating the
whole purpose. And then you can
exchange lists with each other and do at least one or two on the other’s list
each day for the coming week.
For example, a husband
might write on his list, “Communicate confidence in me.” Or, “Show affection.” Because
those make him feel loved. Or a wife
might include on her list, “Write me a love-note.” Or, “Listen intently to
me.”
And since listening well
is itself a form of love, here’s a good tool for listening to your spouse, or
your child, for that matter. Ask two
questions. Number 1. What are you concerned about? And number 2. What do you wish? And
then actively listen without interrupting. —Chip Ingram, “How to Experience
God’s Dream for Your Marriage.” See http://livingontheedge.org Get some duct tape if you need to, and
put it on your mouth if that’s the only way you’re not going to interrupt. And maintain good eye contact. And overall, remember that what is most
effective is unconditional love which is giving what the person needs most when
they deserve it least.
Lynda Berry tells how
she “grew up on the last street before a garbage ravine where people from other
places drove up to dump old refrigerators and mattresses and deposit their dead
animals and other trash.” Her physical
surroundings weren’t the only parts of her life in disarray. Things weren’t going so well in her family
either. She had seen her father make a
bedroom for himself in the basement, and though few words were exchanged, she knew
that could not be very good.
And about that time a
family moved into the neighborhood, and that family was different. They were poor like everyone else, but there
was something about Mrs. Taylor and her home that drew kids like a magnet. When they brought her flowers, even if they
were only weeds torn up by the roots, she seemed genuinely delighted. She smiled, and hugged a lot, and she took
the kids to church and talked to them about God, and she even knew how to make
work seem fun.
As Lynda tells it, “Most
of the kids on my street saw things like this on TV or read about it at school,
but for the most part it seemed like a lost practice from an ancient
tribe. Almost all of us had parents who
were deep in various sorts of trouble and they could not remember how to do
this anymore.” Mrs. Taylor was about
the only remaining evidence of purely affectionate contact between adult and
child, with no strings attached, and Lynda says, “I have no doubt that a lot of
credit for the sanity of the kids who grew up in my neighborhood are because of
her.”
Early one morning, drawn
irresistibly to the Taylor doorstep, Lynda knocked and invited herself to
breakfast. Surprised, but not
disturbed, Mrs. Taylor set an extra plate at the table. And Lynda remembers, “I’ll never forget that
morning, sitting at their table eating eggs and toast, watching them talk to
each other and smile. How Mr. Taylor
made a joke and Mrs. Taylor laughed. How
she put her hand on his shoulder as she served the food and how he leaned his face
down to kiss her hand. And that was all
I needed to see. I only needed to see
it once to be able to believe for the rest of my life that happiness between
two people can exist. Even if it wasn’t
happening in my house, I knew that just being near it counted for something.”
Now Mrs. Taylor was an
artist. At least she made posters and
backdrops for the church. But in the
minds of the children who flowed through her home, she was a Michelangelo. Once when she let Lynda make one of the
shining lines coming from the cross, Lynda vowed that she was going to grow up
and be an artist just like Mrs. Taylor.
And she did. But far more significantly, she grew up like Mrs. Taylor in
more important ways. And faith passed
from one generation to the next. — Adapted from Lynda Barry, “Guardian
neighbor,”Newsweek, Special Edition (Summer, 1991) pp. 70-73. That is an example of the power of love to
change people. How do we get that love?
The Apostle John himself
writes, “We love because He first loved us.” So I ask you, and I ask myself, do we
continually refresh our minds with the good news of God’s love for us? And do we ask the Holy Spirit to give us
whatever we need so that we can love our spouses, our children, our families,
and our fellow believers, our fellow human beings? Even when they are unlovable?
Let’s choose to make
God’s love transform us and soften us and make us more caring and kind with
each other. And let’s allow God’s
powerful love to renew our family and other relationships, that it might be
true of us, as Jesus said, quoted in John’s gospel, “By
this will all men know that you are My disciples if you love one another.”
Our closing song is
often thought of as a song for children, but it teaches something very
important. So let’s all be kids this morning and let’s sing hymn number 5
hundred and 79.
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Our gracious God in
heaven. Shine upon us. Show Your grace upon our lives and upon our minds and
our hearts and in our families and in all our relationships. May You be glorified. In Jesus name, amen.
Hymn of Praise: #191, Love Divine Scripture: Ephesians 4:32 - 5:2 Hymn of Response: #579, 'Tis Love That Makes Us Happy
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McDonald Road Sermon transcribed by Steve Foster 2/27/09